I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
