I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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