Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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