i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
