Ambien. No doubt about it.
too bad you live with your parents still
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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