Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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