Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
