i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
