I just pynch a tree in the face
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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