sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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