so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
