I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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