so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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