i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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