All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
