That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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