I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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