i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
