from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
