I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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