he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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