he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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