so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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