Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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