you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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