I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
