Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
