Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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