i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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