Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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