I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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