it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize