I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
