Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
