do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
