Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
