No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
