I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
