I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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