Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
