i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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