We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
