Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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