Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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