Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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