im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
