So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
