So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
