I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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