when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
