i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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