I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
