i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
