We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
