shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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