We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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